IVF Babble

The Two Week Wait by Michelle Smith

Back in July, we turned to Mollie Graneek, a Harley Street Fertility Counsellor for brilliant advice on how to survive the dreaded two-week wait.

This month we hear from Michelle Smith, who has had to experience the most painful fortnight on many occasions on her path to parenthood.  

The “2 week wait” (or if you speak the language of us trying to conceive, you may see it written as, “TWW”) is the waiting period between the day you ovulate and the day you start your period…or if you are lucky, you get a positive pregnancy test!

This happens every month for those of us actively trying to add a baby to the mix.

When you start to do the math, a typical month has 4 weeks so practically half of every month you are in the waiting game. That’s basically half the year, and if you are like me and have been trying to conceive for four years…well, that’s a whole lot of waiting but who’s counting?

Women trying to conceive are counting.

Every. Single. Second. Of Every, single day.

These 2 weeks feel like forever, and can be mental torture.

Most women become hyper aware of everything their body is doing, or not doing.  As if the waiting wasn’t hard enough, Mother Nature likes to torture us with symptoms that are common both in the event that you are pregnant, or are not pregnant, and are going to start your dreaded period.

If you could be in the mind of a woman during the TWW it would sound something like this:

Was that cramp I just felt implantation? Or was that cramp a sign of my period starting?  Are my boobs sore because I am pregnant or because my period is about to start? I would love a glass of wine right now, but what if I am pregnant! Sushi looks so good but maybe I should avoid it? Why am I having cravings? Is it because I am pregnant, or is it those period munchies kicking in? My stomach does look a little bloated, that’s a sign of pregnancy, yay! Oh, wait…that’s also a sign my period is going to start. How many more days until I can take a pregnancy test?  11? Oh my gosh…this is the longest wait ever. Did we baby dance (aka have sex) around the right time? I hope we caught the egg in time. I wish I could just sleep for 2 weeks and then wake up with an answer, THE answer we have been waiting to hear. What if this is the month??? I don’t know if I can take another month of this. Maybe I should just stop thinking about it? Yeah. I’m not going to obsess anymore…. Wait, is the nausea I’m feeling me getting sick or am I pregnant. Well, there goes not thinking about it anymore.

Here are some ways to cope with the TWW:

For starters, don’t run to the Internet every time you feel something, or when you don’t feel a thing. Dr Google will not always give you the answer you need, nor the answers you want because the real answer you want is to know if YOU are pregnant or not. Heck, whenever I have turned to Dr Google, I am usually more worried and concerned than I was before hopping on the net.

Some women decide to take pregnancy tests along the way

For some this brings them peace, and for others it makes them even more anxious. Our eyes play tricks on us. We start to see 2 pink lines and then we doubt if we actually saw 2 pink lines at all. Next, we take 7 more tests and ask a couple friends and our partner to tell us what they see.

Another challenge with testing early is the “no” could be wrong, and the yes isn’t exactly secure and strong just yet. It’s hard to find peace with such a wishy washy answer.

Start tackling that TO DO list!

You know those things you have been procrastinating to get done? Do them, now. Being busy not only keeps your mind off the wait (a little) but it also feels good to be productive. I found that it also made the time go by a tiny bit faster too. You can really insert any distraction here if you find it helpful, go for it.

Binge watch your favorite shows! 

I recommend comedies. Laughter is great medicine and when we submerge ourselves into a show that takes the pain of waiting away, its like our brains get a mini vacation!

Connect with people who get it

I highly recommend having a circle of friends you can go to for support and positivity. It helps if these friends totally relate to what you are going through because they understand more than anyone else can. If you don’t have any friends that can relate, there are lots of support groups both online and in person you can find. The key here is surrounding yourself with positive people. I am happy to connect with anyone trying to conceive! It’s always nice to grow my sisterhood, so please feel free to subscribe to my Youtube channel as I share how I am coping with this journey personally. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsRShGLLig4r5BDPj2nLpeg/videos

Fuel your body, and your mind

Whether you are pregnant or not, taking good care of your body isn’t something you will regret. Take this time to really go above and beyond in caring for yourself. Eat healthy, exercise, and pray/meditate or journal your way through the TWW.  Its a good feeling to know that you are getting your body and mind ready for baby, whether it happens this month or not.

Be a kid again

Remember when you were on summer vacation and you had lots of time to kill? What did you do then? If you loved swimming and playing games and doing puzzles and coloring…. do that as an adult. A little fun never hurt anyone!

Most importantly- be kind to yourself as you ride the roller coaster of emotions that the TWW takes you through

There will be ups, there will be downs… and eventually for most women (maybe this month and maybe not), there will be 2 pink lines that were worth the wait.


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