This is my story – my long and very difficult nine year journey to parenthood, by Zamo
I was only 20 years old when I got married to my ex husband. For both of us, our dream was to start a family at a very young age. A few months later after our wedding day, I started feeling very sick. We were very quick to blame it on all the wedding preparation stress. However, since I would vomit every time I ate, we decided to take a home pregnancy test. To our surprise, I was pregnant!! We were both over the moon and I started attending our local clinic immediately.
Due to lack of resources, no scans were done on me
I was just given folic acid supplements and told to come back on my next appointment. Just a week after my clinic appointment, I started feeling pain on the left side of my abdomen. As young as I was, I assumed that that’s how pregnancy is supposed to feel, after all there is a little human being growing inside me.
One morning I was getting ready to go shopping. As I was about to get out of the bathtub, with my one leg still inside and one already outside, I felt a very sharp pain on my lower abdomen – pain which I would not know how to even begin to explain. In just a blink of an eye a lot took place…
I suddenly had a running stomach, felt dizzy, lost my ability to walk and suddenly passed out.
I woke up at the Doctor’s room, In great pain.
All I could hear him (Doctor) say was “she’s bleeding internally due to a tubal rupture caused by an ectopic pregnancy, this is a very dangerous situation, you need to get her to the hospital NOW!”
… fast forward, I went through an operation which resulted in my left tube being removed.
My marriage problems began when I was being discouraged by the hospital, when my ex husband and I asked the Doctor what were our chances of conceiving again. He answered “Very slim to 0%” .
That answer right there made us lose total hope
A few months later while still upset and trying to make sense of what the Doctor had said, my husband at that time came out with a very shocking confession, which I was not expecting nor did I see coming. He sat me down to express his feelings about what the doctor had said a few months back concerning my infertility for the very first time. He said that he was not coping and will not be able to travel that journey with me… as he had met someone who happened to be pregnant with his child at that time.
He asked for forgiveness as he was aware that his timing was not correct.
There was sudden numbness in the air, which lasted for many days. The sheer ability to do everyday tasks felt unbearable, and each morning was a challenge to get out of bed.
After an attempt to commit suicide failed…I began to look around me and I realised that I was surrounded by beautiful people that love me and I love them back (family).
It was just then I realized how much I love myself and began to appreciate the gift of life.
It was at this point when I decided to file for divorce…(all this happened in less than 12 months)
A few years later I met my knight in shinning armour … My husband.
On our first date, I felt the need to tell him everything about my “infertility issues”.
His response shook me, he said ” I love you still, we will go through all that together, that’s what love is, and by the way I believe in God who specialises in miracles”
From that day onwards I felt a very heavy burden off my shoulders
It is from that day I started being free and open about my infertility in a society where infertility is considered “female” and very taboo.
I even started answering questions differently. Questions like “when are you having a baby? Time is ticking”
Before my answer would have been “I want to be rich first before I can start having babies” . . . it suddenly changed to “I am not on any contraceptives and have been trying for a while now, do you have any advice for me? “
So on one beautiful day while going through my phone as usual, I came across an IVF babble competition, where they were giving away one free IVF round to one of their lucky readers. I thought to myself ” let me enter the competition”.
Funny when I got home that evening I found my husband waiting for me…
He said he had been thinking about our infertility issue, and that perhaps it was the right time for us to start paying attention to it now. We both agreed, though we did not see where all the funds would come from. Dealing with infertility is very expensive.
About a month passed, at this time I had long forgotten about the IVF babble competition…
It was a wonderful evening surrounded by family, when beautiful Sara and Tracey called
“It was too good to be true”, when they joyfully delivered the good news. I still get goosebumps all around me when I think about this day.
They told me that the actual winner of the competition had fallen pregnant naturally.. “Thank God!” I said. So that is how I became the lucky winner.
As we hung up the call, everyone in the house could not wait any longer, as they could tell from my screaming, jumping and crying that I had just received pretty exciting news…my dad started “what is it? Is it lottery!?”, my baby sister followed “is it a car?” before I could get a chance to answer my husband asked “hun is it a house?”
I could no longer keep them waiting… So I screamed to my lungs and said “It’s a baby! I won a baby!” my husband jumped off his seat, picked me up and started screaming too, as the news slowly registered in his mind… He said “WAIT, what do you mean? How?”
That’s when I calmly started explaining everything to everyone. The joy in the room was unexplainable, even my youngest sister who is only 8 years old was jumping up and down filled with joy, even though she could not fully understand what I was saying.
Sara and Tracey connected me to the beautiful team at Medfem Fertility Clinic where I met the wonderful Dr N Clark
I tend to be speechless when I get to think about the wonderful and beautiful team at Medfem Fertility Clinic.
I have received the most luxurious service ever. Never for a moment have they ever made me feel like a “freebie”, I have been treated with respect all the way through and their professionalism is on another level.
So on our first appointment with Dr Clark, he asked us a few questions to get to know our medical background.
Then he performed a transvaginal ultrasound, where he discovered that I had a few fibroids outside the womb. But he was happy with an overall scan as he also mentioned that the womb was looking pretty good inside. He then sent us off to do a few blood tests.
This was the scariest moment of the whole procedure for me, since it was the first time we both did such major blood tests
I was mostly afraid of the outcome… “fear of the unknown”
A few days later the blood results came back and to my surprise Dr Clark was happy with both our results as he read them out for us.
Now the journey was starting to become interesting. We were sent home and asked to return on the second day of my period.
When the day came, I gladly went back to the clinic, where the whole procedure was explained to me. I was then given stimulation medication. A few days later we had to go for a scan so they could check the progress of the eggs’ growth. Dr Clark was happy with the progress, so he scheduled for the egg retrieval, which went pretty well. This is where I first met more of Medfem’s wonderful team – Intercare, their service was very beautiful, they treated me with so much care.
35 eggs were retrieved, 25 were matured, 20 were fertilized and 14 made it to blastocyst stage
Now due to that I got a little over-stimulated during the stimulation process, I developed OHSS which resulted in my transfer day being postponed to my next cycle. Dr Clark advised me that my body needed to settle and rest before he could do the embryo transfer.
That really hit me hard. Even though knowing very well that it was for my own good, and very aware that it was just just postponed not cancelled. It still left me very emotional, given the fact that I had to wait for almost 9 years to conceive. I honestly felt like I could wait no longer.
Fast forward to my next cycle
I went back to the clinic and a scan was done. I began with meditation, preparing my uterine lining for embryo transfer. By far this was one of the exciting process so far.
I went for a few scans and Dr Clark was happy with how my body was responding, so he scheduled for embryo transfer. Yeppy!!!
As transfer day came, I was very happy but also very tired at the same time, I assumed that it could be all the medication’s side effects.
As I arrived one of the Intercare staff explained to me the whole process, which was very useful by the way. They helped me prepare and before I knew it, I was in the theatre room all ready for the transfer.
Dr Clark walked in, asked me if I was OK and ready for the process?
I answered “yes” with a shivering voice.
He then explained to me the whole process and assured me that it will just be like a pinch just similar to papsmear, “it will not be pain that you can’t handle, I promise” he said.
He was talking to me throughout the process, explaining every step he made.
Before I knew it, it was all over and done. The embryologist confirmed that the embryos were transferred.
Well as for the pain… I think I expected way too much and ended up feeling absolutely nothing, I had to ask Dr Clark if the embryos had definitely been transferred as I did not feel any discomfort at all. He assured me that they did.
Now we move to the two week wait…
OMG! Longest two weeks of my life. I could not help but notice every single action that was happening in my body, cramps, headaches etc all in the hope of successful implementation. On the days I did not feel any symptoms my hope bar would just drop to 0% in fear that the IVF failed.
Finally the wait came to an end
The blood test day came… I honestly did not know how to feel.
As I arrived blood was collected and I was asked to wait for the results. As I was waiting I tried to remain in hope and keep it all together. What kept me going was just one statement that kept going through my mind “God answers prayers”
When the IVF nurse Christina came back with the results, she asked me to wait for in a different room from where we took the blood (which is her room).
All that went through my head at that time, was OMG! This woman is about to start doing counselling
That could only be that the results are not so good!
As she walked into the room, she placed my results on top of the table next to me. As I looked in fear, a beautiful two lines showed on the test, believe me those two lines are a BIG deal if you have been hoping for them every single month you take a test for the past 9 years.
In shock and excitement mixed together, believe me I could no longer hear a word that Christina (IVF Nurse) was saying. All I said after every statement she made was “does this mean I’m pregnant?”
As she noticed that I was no longer paying attention, she notified me that Dr Clark will soon come to see me. She said she will leave me to digest everything and I should pass by her office as soon as I was done with Dr Clark.
Dr Clark indeed did come through and congratulated me. And gave me all the information that I needed, now that I’m “pregnant”. I am still trying to get used to that new truth… At times I would wake up in disbelief.
This is my IVF success story
I hope it inspires somebody that there is indeed light at the end of a tunnel and for me that light was the IVF babble team and partners, Medfem Fertility Clinic and of course Dr N Clark.
I will never be able to thank you enough… Words just fail me at this point. Thank you for allowing God to use you to answer my prayers. Thank you for making my dreams a reality.
You have given to us a gift that we will forever cherish.
Learn more about the IVF process