The pictures below have a story behind that I want to share with you.
They were taken on Saturday, October 2, 2010.
I went through 5 cycles of IVF to become a mom. IVF was my only choice to reach motherhood. In these pictures I was 39 weeks pregnant with our baby daughter Isabelle. On Tuesday, October 10, 2010 I went to my last check up and unfortunately our baby had died in my womb. She was a complete little baby girl, stillbirth. I was absolutely devastated, and although we had our daughter Eliyah at that time, (she was 5 years old, and my first IVF child, and my stepdaughter was 9), I just wanted and wished I could drown in my tears. I blamed myself for few years and this loss brought me and my husband to almost a divorce, because each of us were grieving in our own way and we got very disconnected.
I thought that my world was ending
I felt empty, sad and with no will to continue living. This pain had and has no name, until I realized I wasn’t the only one feeling this pain and there were other women out there that had experienced the same. I knew that I had do something and try my best to learn and understand the lesson that this painful event was trying to teach me.
When our Maya was born 5 years and 8 months ago from our fifth IVF, I knew very deep inside that she was Isabelle’s soul coming back to us in a little different body
Maya’s pregnancy and IVF treatment were the last push that inspired me to do what I am doing today with all my heart and soul – sharing with you today my story, with this images – images that I had previously I run away from, and hidden away from, for many years, until I knew and felt that our angel baby was with us, that little soul gave me the courage to look at them, and find joy in making it a beautiful memory.
If you are a mom or parents of an angel baby or babies, remember, you are an inspiration for millions in this world
The road to motherhood is not easy, no matter how you decide to pursue it, trying to conceive naturally or through IVF. I became a Fertility and Life coach because of all the struggle and pain I went through, so I know how many couples and women walking the same path feel.
Always remember that no matter what the outcome of your journey will be, be kind to yourself, don’t feel embarrassed or disappointed , there is always hope and someone out there willing to help you walk this path along with you.
If you would like to get in touch with Monica, you can reach her through her Instagram account, @monicabivas. She has told us that if you need any support, do message her and she will be there for you. You can also purchase her book, the IVF Planner – an information guide and book for you to write your own story in the Babble Fertility Shop.
Monica Bivas is a Mindset & Holistic Fertility Coach, Speaker, and author of the book “The IVF Planner. A Personal Journal to Organize Your Journey Through In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) with Love and Positivity, published by Balboa Press. She is a married mother of 2 beautiful IVF Daughters and one stepdaughter. She is the founder of the The IVF Journey, a safe space for women and couples (no matter their sexual preferences) to find support, inspiration, hope and connection between one another. Monica is a Certified Fertility Coach from the Wholesome Fertility Program and is a Coach in Training from the Hormone Puzzle Program too. She specializes in mindset & Emotional support for individuals and couples Trying to Conceive via ART, like IVF or IUI, as well as emotional support in Pregnancy and Infant Loss.
Her coaching comes along with fertility resources, like PDF Guides, Meditation Series, Fertility Crystals and Fertility Coloring Books. Monica’s Clients can feel her positive energy and authentic love, and through it gain inspiration and trust to walk this roller coaster of emotions in a more confident and positive way and get closer to reach the goal of motherhood.
Monica promotes her programs inspired by her own experience with IVF. Her road to motherhood was not an easy one and she knows what is to walk in the shoes of fertility issues.
Monica was a regular contributor to the Huffington Post, Thrive Global & she has been a guest in most of the well-known fertility podcasts like The Fertility Warriors Podcast and the Beat infertility Podcast among others, as well as in the Dynamic Women Talk Radio & Wise health for Women Radio where she talks about her own journey, and planning for and managing IVF Treatments, as well on support on TTC naturally.
Her book The IVF Planner, is a journal and guide for women undergoing fertility treatment and has another book forthcoming about her life-changing experience with IVF treatment and her Stillbirth and loss experience at 39 week of her baby daughter Isabelle, as well as her following miscarriage at 7 weeks after Trying again IVF.
Monica’s birthplace is the south American country of Colombia, but her hometown is Long Island NY, she is married with her Israeli husband Shai, whom she loves and consider her best friend and unconditional partner in her journey. When she is not supporting her fertility tribe, she is a full hand on mom and a must in her life is a weekly date with her hubby doing one of the things she enjoys the most: Dancing.