In a lengthy essay penned for the Sun, Lucinda Hart writes about her decision to have a baby on her own, using IVF and a sperm donor to start and grow her family
She writes about her fear of putting her child through the same agony of divorce that she dealt with as a child.
After watching her parents split up, she says, “if there was any way I could prevent this for my own children, I would. Luckily, these days that is easily possible — and I know that being a single mum makes me a better parent.”
She chose to undergo IVF with donor sperm so that she could conceive on her own terms
“It was not a decision fraught with uncertainty or frustration for her. “It wasn’t the emotionally draining last-chance-for-a-child that it is for many.”
Lucinda was working as a medical secretary in Cornwall when she decided that she wanted to have children that were hers alone
Though she was dating a man at the time, she always planned to have her children as a single mother.
She went through IVF with donated Danish sperm and was successful on her second round and was able to freeze additional embryos. After her daughter Raphael was born, the two of them moved in with Lucinda’s parents for the extra support. Four years later, in 2017, her second daughter Aelfrida was born.
Lucinda reminds her readers that even though IVF is expensive, it doesn’t actually cost any more than many common ‘splurges,’ such as new cars or holidays.
She takes special comfort in the fact that she has full custody and rights over her two girls. “No man will ever have rights over my children, and, in the same way, they are not able to make demands on any man I should meet.”
In the years since she started her motherhood journey, Lucinda has seen a change in attitudes towards single women undergoing IVF. “When I started my IVF it was a relatively new thing for single women to undertake. However, in the years since then, there are a growing number of women choosing to have children alone. There are online groups and even single-mother holidays and trips.”
As for what she tells her children, it’s rather simple. She explains, “some people have a daddy, and some people have a donor.” Her eldest daughter, now 8, takes great pride in her origin story, even giving a “spur-of-the-moment talk on sperm donation” at school!
Lucinda finishes her article by stressing just how much she loves being a single mother, and recommends it to others. “Because I don’t have to worry about keeping a two-parent relationship on the straight and narrow, I can devote more of my time and energy to my girls.”
What do you think of Lucinda’s decision to have children on her own? Is it something you would consider yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments section.