IVF Babble

“I’ve accepted I won’t ever have children”

Kate Taylor has a busy life – her own business, hectic social life, and two dogs she adores

But for many years her life was all about wanting to have a family of her own.

By the time she was 36, Kate had been through several tough rounds of IVF in three years and nothing was working.

She told the Metro: “Not a year goes by when I don’t reflect on just how far I’ve come since that fateful day. Thankfully, in many ways, infertility has actually transformed my life for the better, but it took me a long time to realise it.”

Kate and her husband Rob started trying for a baby in 2010 soon after getting married. They tried for a year to conceive and when that did not work, they started fertility treatment on the NHS.

Kate was 33 at the time: “At first, doctors seemed hopeful of our chances, but as our treatment progressed everything seemed stacked against us.

“Nothing prepares you for IVF. The daily injections, the invasive internal scans and drugs that wreak havoc with your hormones. Emotionally, I was all over the place.”

The first, second and third round of IVF the couple had failed. Further investigation uncovered a severe endometriosis diagnosis.

She said: “IVF is unbearably lonely and isolating because I became encapsulated in a world of fear. Fear of what my childless future would look like, but also fear of another friend announcing a pregnancy, or another IVF success story being splashed across the papers.

“Almost three year after starting treatment, we were told the devastating news that if we wanted to have children the only option was egg donation abroad. By this point, my husband and I were exhausted.

“We gave in the towel and found myself in a very dark place, not that I particularly realised it at the time.

“Even in the early days, I was determined that infertility wasn’t going to define my future. But my life felt ’empty’ and I knew that I needed to find something to fill the void.”

Kate and Rob found their bond grew deeper during this time, something she sees as a positive from the horrendous experience.

She said: “It’s been a long and painful road, but I can honestly say I am now the most content and happy I have been throughout my adult life. Finally, I have found myself.”

She counts her two terriers as one of the reasons she has got through the grief of being childless. In fact, they were the inspiration to her starting her online dog-friendly website on dog-related services and products.

“My dogs and I go on lots of holidays, reviewing fantastic dog-friendly places and writing about them on my blog,” she said.

“I have regained control of my life and I’ve learned to love it and make the most of every day.”

Are you happily childless? Did you go through IVF and decide to end treatment? We’d love to hear your story, email mystory@ivfbabble.com.

Related content:

My IVF failure and knowing when to draw a line

 

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