Earlier this week, Kensington Palace announced that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are expecting their first child in Spring 2019, which is fantastic news and we are so happy for them. However, the wonderful fertility blogger, Alice Rose, gives us her insight into how to get through these sorts of announcements when you are in the midst of your own fertility issues.
If you are going through a fertility struggle, or just trying to get through the last day of Baby Loss Awareness Week, then being bombarded with this news across your social media, radio, TV, newspapers – maybe even Siri or Alexa is piping up to let you know in case you missed it?!- this might not be massively helpful for your healing process or ability to cope with your own situation right now.
So, if you’re finding the news a bit tricky, here are five ways to cope:
If you want to throw things at your TV/radio/newspaper that’s actually totally fine. Raging at the unfairness of it all, raging at Meghan’s seemingly perfect life when yours is far from it, raging at the obsession with the Royals if that’s your thing. As much as you might hate yourself for it, (cos you know, she actually seems delightful and babies are wonderful things) guilt will only make it worse. Seriously, just rage away if you need to. It’s normal. A lot of people will be there with you.
If you feel it, then you need to process it. The first step is acknowledging and identifying what you are actually feeling. Take five minutes to write, without stopping, how this news has made you feel. You’ll be amazed at the power of getting out what’s in your head onto the page.
Find your tribe
Put yourself in a bubble of nourishing, supportive content- articles like this, finding Instagram accounts who really get it or, may I recommend my latest podcast The TTC Life Raft: ‘how to stop comparing’ with the UK’s first and only Comparison Coach, Lucy Sheridan, where we talk specifically about how to cope with pregnancy announcements. Find people who understand how you feel and who are providing tools on how to cope.
Make time for yourself. Focus back on you and what is happening for you right now; do what works for you. I find meditation, writing and walking are amazing healers which can turn my whole day around. If you are looking for a meditation I really recommend Insight Timer for lots of free timed options, it is also really accessible for beginners too if you’ve never done it before.
Retune your focus
Find a way to connect to your physicality in any way you can. Bringing ourselves back into our bodies by focussing on our senses is a really powerful, fast way to get back into alignment so instead of focussing on someone else’s story, you come back to you. You can do this through exercise (I love yoga for this, if that’s your thing) or if you can afford it, pamper yourself and go and get reflexology, acupuncture or have a massage. Personally, I just think any excuse for a massage is the way forward right?! Even buying yourself some flowers and breathing in their scent is a powerful way to bring yourself back.
We are stronger together.
Alice has launched a great campaign entitled Think! What Not To Say! in which she is encouraging health care professionals to put more thought into what and how they talk to men and women with infertility.
To find out more visit her blog here