This is our story, by Howard-James Rigbye
I met the great love of my life Deborah just over 3 years ago, and I knew straight away she was the woman I had been waiting my whole life for
Our relationship quickly developed and we were head over heels in love pretty much straight away. As we talked everyday about our dreams, passions and life stories so far.
She revealed to me her biggest dream was to always have 2 children
Her son, (now my stepson) when we met, was 15 years old, and was always polite and respectful. His mum told me it had been just them for so long, and he was very protective of her. She was very shocked as we hit it off straight away, due to our similar interests in all things gaming and computers.
His biological dad hasn’t been on the scene since he was about 5 years old. He wasn’t the best of dads or partners, due to drink and drug issues and always in and out of prison. He was also very abusive in their relationship both verbally and physically.
Within the first 12 months of our relationship I was happy to give my soul mate her biggest dream for another child, and you can imagine how elated we both were to find out she was pregnant.
Sadly though, things don’t always go to plan
She started with on-off bleeding then very severe stomach pains. We were greatly concerned, so I took her to the maternity department. A short while later we learned the pregnancy was a viable eptopic pregnancy, and required immediate surgery.
The surgery however removed not only the eptopic pregnancy but the fallopian tube, and left her feeling so weak that I had to take 5 weeks off from work with a sick note. This was to support her not just emotionally, but physically as well. Unless I supported her to move around she would have been bed bound the entire time.Near the end of the 5 weeks, my employer at the time, while I was travelling back to work, contacted me and stated they were letting me go, and to not return.
Following this we kept trying but our second pregnancy was again eptopic but none viable. This time however they were able to leave the remaining fallopian tube in.
All the while we had gone through most of our savings. Fortunately though, I found another job almost 4 months after being let go.
After a period of settling into my new job we decided to try again – taking the vitamins and mineral supplements advised by our doctor, in the hope that everything would turn out successful.
Once gain, we fond out that we were pregnant ,which made us feel over the moon
But, within a couple of weeks the spotting of blood and pain started again. And then the government announced the start of lockdown due to the pandemic.
As such my partner had to attend the maternity department on her own, and heard the terrible news for a third time. The pregnancy was a viable eptopic, and required further surgery. Unfortunately they couldn’t remove this third one without sacrificing her second fallopian tube.
Talking to our doctors, it has been decided that our only option now is IVF
But, here we hit another road block because my employer has been forced into administration due to the pandemic, and I am again out of work.
Although I am working now and have been since February, with only one income and no savings we won’t be able to hit the amount required to start the treatment. Not without support and not before she turns 38 in January, after which the clinic has advised they can’t consider us.
Everyday I see the bright light of my true love’s soul in her eyes get dimmer and dimmer
I just want to give her everything she has ever wanted before it’s too late.
Thank you for reaching out and I thank you for any help you can offer us.
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