E! host Lilliana Vazquez has revealed a six-year fertility journey has ended in her becoming pregnant with a much-wanted child
The 40-year-old told People magazine she is ‘overjoyed and elated’ at finally being able to realise her dream of being a family with her husband, Patrick McGrath.
On discovering she was pregnant, she said: “I don’t think it is a feeling I have ever felt before. It was complete and over the top elation.”
The couple began their journey back in 2015 with intrauterine insemination and IVF treatment.
Lilliana and Patrick said during those years they experienced many heartaches and disappointments, so the pregnancy has brought them immense joy, tinged with anxiety.
Lilliana said: “I’m 40 years old and I am pregnant for the first time, and so I think when you’ve experienced so much loss, it hardens you and it makes you scared.
“It’s heartbreaking to say, but for the first trimester every day, I was like ‘Is this the last day I am going to be pregnant?'”
She said it took her a long time to get out of that mindset and said she had to have a strong word with herself to shift her thoughts.
Lilianna also put up two special posts announcing the news to her 91,000 Instagram followers
She said: “Over the last six years y’all have been a part of my day-to-day story. You’ve seen me experience milestone moments, career highs, personal achievements, and all of the little things that make this life so beautiful.
“But there’s a part of my story missing. And it’s finally time to share more of that with you.
“When you’re battling infertility, a bad day feels unbearable. A good day still feels hopeless. You condition yourself to expect the worst at every turn and to put it simply, infertility can feel like a thief.
“It can rob you of patience, joy, relationships, faith, and if you let it, sometimes even the truth. Each failed cycle made me question myself – as I was woman-enough, good enough, or even committed enough to even get pregnant? Would I ever experience the joy of being a mother? Could we be happy if life were just the two of us? Was I enough?
There were days when I couldn’t see through my tears and moments when I declared I was done. I can’t do this again. I refuse to punish myself anymore. I won’t take another shot. You see, infertility does that to you. It pushes you right to the brink and just when you think you can’t possibly subject yourself to more loss, you wake up the next day and realize that you’re more warrior than woman and you find the faith and courage necessary to try again.
“This process is so deeply personal and different for every individual and I’m finally at a place where I feel strong and confident enough to share more of my journey in hopes of reframing some of the narratives surrounding infertility and reproductive health.”
The couple has decided to wait until the baby’s birth to find out the sex and are due in the summer.
We wish Lilliana all our love