By the age of 30, not many of us will have escaped life without having to get our bits out, at some point
Hopefully, you are all up to date with your SMEAR Tests? If not, please call you GP and get one booked (it isn’t that bad, I promise) having said that, there is no escaping the fact, you’re going to have to get your bits out.
So here we are, 30 years old, and strangers have ogled our bits approx. 2? 3? Times.
Along with the emotional/physical/financial aspect of infertility and IVF also comes the fact that apart from a blood test, you can almost guarantee any visit to the hospital/clinic is going to result in you being naked from the waist down, often with more than 1 person chin deep in your bits.
As exciting as that may sound to some of you, I can assure you it is not
I remember my first time.
I “prepped” like I’d never prepped before, under totally false assumptions that I’d be judged on the state of my “downstairs”. I spent so much time in the shower that morning that I ended up sitting down….. In the shower!!!!
I can’t even tell you what I expected, I mean, I knew they wouldn’t slate me to my face if they didn’t approve of my “neatness” (or lack of it, depending on who you are) but could they note my file? Could they share details with colleagues?
“My 2 pm, an absolute mess, avoid at all costs”
Can you imagine?
I wasn’t particularly keen to impress them, I just wanted to appear average, in all aspects so as not to stand out for any reason.
I sheepishly entered the room, thankful that I had a female doctor (you can usually request a female doctor if you would prefer)
She was lovely, not that that mattered, or made me feel any more excited about stripping off. She closed the curtain to spare me the embarrassment of undressing in front of her (yeah, because that’s the most embarrassing thing about that appointment). I assumed my position with as much dignity as I could scramble to maintain and she pulled back the curtain.
Now, as much as I stated, I didn’t know what to expect, I can tell you what I didn’t expect and that was for this to be such a normal thing. The doctor asked me about my day, what had I been up to? (As if I could tell her I’d spent all morning cleaning my bits for her). The way she continued to chat with me whilst she prodded and poked my vajayjay kind of caught me off-guard. At one point she even left my bedside whilst she flounced around the room gathering even more equipment – I still had everything out, I couldn’t believe it.
She was so relaxed and unfazed it was as if she’d done this a million times……….
And suddenly it hit me (not literally, god can you imagine, that would have been embarrassing).
The professionals really don’t care.
They don’t pay enough attention to judge.
They don’t notice your “style” and even if they did, by their next appointment they’ve forgotten what your bits looked like.
I strongly advise that you say goodbye to your dignity before your first appointment, just let it go, trying to hold on to it only adds to the pressure and I’m certain if your facing fertility tests/investigations then the pressure is already mounting and you could do without creating additional, unnecessary stress.
Hold a ceremony of some kind if it makes you feel better, a farewell to your dignity party, trust me, there’s no clinging on.
So try not to stress, don’t sweat the small stuff as “they” say. I can promise, whoever gets to see your “pride and joy” throughout this process, won’t give it a second thought.
If you would like to get in touch with Jodie, you can reach her via her Instagram @JodieNicholsonAuthor