Sharing the miscarriage ‘taboo’

For those who understand the indescribable pain of losing a baby, it’s something that can affect a woman for the rest of her life, and now a new study has backed this up

This new study has found that losing a baby leaves a third of woman suffering with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Inspired by this study, some women have opened up to share their stories and try to help women suffering in a similar way. Stats show that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in a miscarriage in the UK, a devastating loss that affects so many – so talking openly can help so many of the women suffering in silence. Too often, suffering a miscarriage or a stillbirth means that women are left to deal with emotional effects long after the physical effects have been treated.

Jools Oliver, wife of TV chef Jamie recently shared her story on her own social media on the couples 20th wedding anniversary, posting, “We have created five wonderful children and lost our five little stars in the sky”.

Baby loss heartbreakingly remains a taboo subject, with 85% of all miscarriages happening in the first 12 weeks and 1 in 200 pregnancies resulting in a stillbirth

The study found that of the third of women who experience PTSD, almost 1 in 5 are still suffering a year later, with another 35% reporting feelings of anxiety and depression. Researchers at Imperial College London say that women should be assessed for psychological problems after losing a baby and if found to need it, should be offered counselling.

The Daily Mail has spoken to 13 women, all who have suffered miscarriage or stillbirth, most of whom were offered no counselling. They tell their stories beautifully, but of course each is heartbreakingly sad. Some have ended happily, after giving birth to their rainbow babies, but say that the pain of their loss isn’t completely taken away by having another baby.

Some women blame themselves

Another woman tells of her grief at miscarrying for five months, experiencing heavy bleeding and an infection after her miscarried pregnancy hadn’t all come away initially. Some women blame themselves and talk of locking themselves away not being able to face anyone afterwards. Some say that the strain broke their relationships apart and others say that they didn’t receive much sympathy as they were already a mum.

We hear you all, and our hearts break for anyone experiencing the loss of a baby. If you’re suffering emotionally after a miscarriage or stillbirth, then it’s important to seek help. Talk to loved ones, find support groups for women experiencing the same emotions and speak to your GP if you think you could benefit from counselling.

Please do watch this episode of the Cope Talks. The incredible panel of experts offer so much support and guidance along with tools to help you deal with the trauma that you may be experiencing


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