We received a lovely message from a reader who asked us to share one of her coping tools with you
Having been through 2 failed rounds of ivf and about to start another, Lucy told us that her life is not what it used to be. She used to love going out for meals and drinking lots of delicious wine, she used to love a pub garden on a Saturday with friends. Infact most of what Lucy did centred around booze, she said!
But she needed to switch her focus and find something else to do with her free time – something to distract her from the constant fear that yet another round of ivf would fail. So, one afternoon she headed to her local garden centre and bought some beautiful house plants.
Nurturing her plants became her focus
Instead of going to the pub, she would go to the garden centre with her girlfriends, grab a cup of tea there in the cafe and come home with more plants. Her girlfriends started to love the new plant craze too!
Her house was filled with beautiful, vibrant green plants that looked incredible, but they all depended on her, and that made her feel needed and special she says. She even downloaded an app that promises to keep your plants alive! It alerts you when to feed them, how much to feed them etc.
Lucy asked us to share this with you, as she says looking after her plants has given her a hobby, a focus, a role, a distraction and most of all, a sense of light in what has been a very dark time in her life.
We wanted to hear from our instagram followers too, so we asked them how they too were coping
My cat distracts me
He’s wonderfully spoilt and indulged but it brings me comfort knowing that I’m responsible for his happy life. I once asked my husband in my sleep where my baby was and he passed me the cat!
Gardening for me has definitely given me the focus I needed over lockdown.
We’ve been able to really out everything into redesigning our garden to be a really great green space for spending time in. This is now my 3rd cycle and we are embryo batching. We had another new focus enter our lives last weekend in the form of 2 kittens our house is a home again and I have something else to focus on rather than what we are going through right now.
My dog Lady Buttercup (LB)
I’ve been on this journey for 6yrs. The first 3 were horrible I’d lock myself in my closet and cry so no one would hear me cry. Today I keep myself occupied with being a wife to my husband, busy at work helping coworkers and clients and my dog Lady Buttercup (LB). I’ve had LB for 5 years and she brings me joy. Every morning my husband and I wake up and walk her in the park. She loves cuddling with me, kisses and most of all listening to me sing. I hope one day to share those things with my own child but until then I’ll give my love to my LB who loves me unconditionally.
I know it’s a cliche but getting a dog saved me after our miscarriage (round 2). We are now preparing for our 6th and final round.
Gardening is definitely one of my hobbies and coping skills
I have major retail therapy issues with plants. I don’t think my garden would be as lovely as it is if I hadn’t gone through so much loss and pain. It’s been nice to create beauty from something so hard.
Baking saved me
I bake! My baking addiction happened literally the day after my first IVF failed. I was beside myself with despair, and just needed something to do with my hands, so I made a Victoria sponge cake. I fought back the tears as I smeared the jam on to the sponge, but honestly, baking has now become my “go to”. It calms me down, it gives me a purpose, and a distraction
We would love to hear more of your stories and coping techniques. Drop us a line at email@example.com