We wanted to share this story, about the trolling that Jessie and Nathan have endured, to remind you that although there are cruel and ignorant people in this world who do not understand the emotional and physically pain of infertility, we are here for you, and we want you to know that you can always turn to us for help.
You are part of a wonderful TTC community, wherever you are in the world, who will always support you – all you need to do is reach out to us, and never ever let anyone tell you that you are selfish for needing medical assistance to start your family.
Let us tell you about Jessie and Nathan
Jessie Aganetti and her partner Nathan Bingham were brave enough to share their fertility journey with ABC News, only to be raked over the coals by trolls and naysayers. The Melbourne couple told news.com.au that they were upset that their IVF treatments were cancelled due to the global Coronavirus pandemic. They shared their disappointment and expressed hopes that their treatment could start again as soon as possible.
Low ovarian reserve
Jessie, 28, has been diagnosed with low ovarian reserve, and has been told that her fertility is declining rapidly. However, when her story was reported she began to receive hateful comments on social media about her focus on her cancelled IVF treatment.
In order to relieve the pressure on the Australian health system, many medical procedures were put on hold until the virus was under control in order to prevent hospitals from becoming overwhelmed. Many couples were devastated by this news, as this could end their chances of growing their family by conceiving a child.
While Jessie and Nathan were able to undergo an embryo transfer in mid-March, just before the lockdown began, sadly, the transfer was unsuccessful. Jessie has a lower and lower chance of producing a viable egg as each month goes by.
Time is ticking
She says, “With us, it’s not a case of, oh we can just wait til next month or next year. In my case it’s now or never. I am going infertile and I cannot wait.” She has been stressed and depressed as she faces the uncertainty of not knowing when she can undergo her next treatment. Since she is labelled as an urgent case, she will be prioritised when the clinics reopen, which is starting to happen in the Melbourne area.
However, as she waits during this hard time, she has been inundated with cruel messages about those who clearly do not understand the medical aspect of infertility. She says that people have told her that it isn’t important that she worries about having a fertility treatments during the pandemic.
A cruel and ignorant backlash
“The messages were horrific. ‘Why can’t you wait ‘til next year?’ ‘You’re so selfish!’ I wrote back a hundred times, ‘Not all of us can wait.’” She continued, “They have obviously never known anyone who has had to go through this, and they don’t understand.”
Sadly though, there are people in the world who not only lack manners and compassion, but an understanding of what infertility is – infertility is a disease. This is why it is so important to continue on our mission to break the silence and to educate people, to help them understand that those struggling to conceive need to be supported, not berated.
Jessie will soon begin her fourth cycle of IVF, and she is hoping that this time she and Nathan will be successful. She says that she feels very lucky that she is able to try again.
Here in the UK, the HFEA has given the go ahead for British fertility clinics to reopen, but those getting treatments on the NHS will face long waits as the backlog is cleared. We are sending our best wishes and speedy thoughts to all of our readers around the world who are waiting for their rescheduled appointments!
Sending everyone TTC during this difficult time all of our love and support.