Searching for good news in amongst the chaos

by Sara Marshall-Page

What on earth happened to the world? The only way I can describe this feeling, is like when you lose someone you love. You carry on with your daily chores, putting the washing on, sending work emails, getting something out of the freezer for dinner, distracted momentarily, and then boom- reality hits and you remember that that person is gone.

You remember that you can’t give them a call, pop round to see them for a cuppa, hold their hand or tell them that you love them. The grief hits you hard in the face and sadness pours over you uncontrollably. You wonder if life will ever be the same. I have this feeling everyday at the moment, as I am sure you do.

When those moments hit, when reality kicks, it feels like we are all in an episode of Black Mirror.

I type my postcode in to the app that allows you to see how many people in your borough have the virus and watch as the numbers rise daily. I have watched my high street close down, I have listened to my park keeper talk about the threat of parks locking their gates, and finally, you know something really bad is happening when McDonalds closes their doors for business!! There is nothing but talk of uncertainty and fear and it is scary.

Every day we receive hundreds of messages from readers and followers, who have been left stranded, with no idea when they will be able to pick up treatment again. This comes following the news that The American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) and The British Fertility Society (BFS) have issued advice that fertility treatments be ceased for the foreseeable future. This is due to the uncertainty about the effects of COVID-19 on the foetus, as well as the need for medical resources to be redirected elsewhere. You are lost, you are angry and you want to vent.

Please please do keep sending us your messages won’t you? We will answer every single one, and will direct any of your questions to our experts. The only way we are going to get through this is by talking and sharing our fears and concerns. Talking to each other and sharing coping techniques might help us all feel that little bit stronger.

As my way of coping, I am on a mission to search for snippets of happy news – just one little piece of happiness a day.

Today, I found myself smiling from ear to ear as I read the news that Della and her husband Ryan –who’s names were selected at random for our free ivf giveaway last year, resulting in a beautiful little boy called Callum, are donating two of their frozen embryos.

The lovely couple from Scotland were gifted their free round of IVF by us at ivf babble, in partnership with the Glasgow Centre for Reproductive Medicine.  Prior to entering the giveaway, the couple had been through so many traumas in their mission to become parents. They sadly suffered two ectopic pregnancies, went through years of fertility treatment and suffered a failed round of IVF before finally conceiving with Callum.

Like most people who have struggled to conceive, Della and Ryan wanted to go on to help others

“We have decided to donate the two embryos we have in the freezer to someone else so someone can hopefully experience the happy ending we have been lucky enough to be given”.

This is such an incredible thing to do. I know only two well how hard it is to let go of an embryo – I let four of my frozen embryos go last month as they had tragically come to the end of their ‘shelf life’. I had spoken to my embryologist about the option of giving them up for adoption, but I just couldn’t do it. It takes a special kind of person to do such a kind and selfless thing. Della and Ryan are wonderful people, and this news has brought a glimmer of joy to my day.

I think searching for at least one piece of happy news a day is going to be my new coping tool.

This isn’t me dismissing the sadness that surrounds us, this is me looking for some light.

At this time of frustration and uncertainty, are you able to smile? Has anything made you smile today? Will you drop me a line either way? sara@ivfbabble.com

Huge love to everyone as always. Stay safe.

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