Whatever you feel about Valentine’s Day, whether an utter romantic or a complete non-believer, the chances are, there is a big chance you’re not marking the occasion by freezing your eggs. But that’s exactly what Sophia Money-Coutts plans to do this Friday
After spending a few months thinking about the plusses and minuses of freezing her eggs, Sophia’s first appointment to discuss going through with the procedure happens to fall on the most romantic day of the year.
As a female in her 30s, Sophia feels the pressure felt by so many of us to make a decision on her future fertility
She says the decision to go ahead “hasn’t been an easy call” as she’s still unsure if she wants children, but doesn’t want it to be too late if she decides that she does in six or seven years’ time.
As with any medical procedure, she did a lot of research into what the process involves and what it costs and spoke to many experts. She even sought advice from a friend who had been through the IVF process, to get tips on how to deal with self-injecting hormones on a daily basis.
She decided to go to a particular London hospital after visiting a free open evening there. After arriving at the open evening first, she chose a seat in the second row and watched as several woman of her own age silently filled the room.
She noted that that the women all seemed as if they didn’t want to be seen
“That’s how they moved — quietly, as if they wanted to be unseen. A cloak of silent embarrassment hung over our heads”.
“Here was a group of professional women, with smart handbags and nice hair, behaving as if they were back on the sidelines of a school disco. They were racked with trepidation and a sense of failure over having “ended up” coming to a talk like this. Because coming to a talk like this, on one level, means acknowledging that you haven’t had children the way everyone else seems to, the way so many of your friends have.”
But she’s open about how she feels about having the procedure
Sophia says “I’ve written about this topic a few times and received plenty of private messages and emails from women telling me their own experience of it, as if admitting a guilty secret because it’s still stigmatised”.
“But if you’re lucky enough to be able to afford egg freezing, given the scientific advances in the technique and the relief it gives you, why wouldn’t you do it?”
“Why not look at it as the most positive, affirmative action you can make at this age? How much more empowered, how much stronger you are to pick this than plod on with the wrong relationship because you’re worried that time is running out.”
We wish you all the best, Sophia!
Have you frozen your eggs or are you considering freezing your eggs? We would love to hear from you at firstname.lastname@example.org.