My journey started in early 2017 when my husband and I decided we were ready to start a family
In the space of 18 months we sadly had four miscarriages all before seven weeks gestation. We were referred to our NHS recurrent miscarriage clinic to discover after all of the tests available on the NHS that they could not find an issue. In total despair we turned to private health care and visited a centre for reproductive immunology for further in depth testing. The testing showed that I had a high level of natural killer cells that were aggressive and therefore were seeing the pregnancies as a foreign body, and in effect, killing our babies.
The treatment was hardcore and difficult to go through but I just told myself each day that it was all to get my rainbow baby. In March 2018 we fell pregnant for the fifth time and for the first 16 weeks of my pregnancy I was on lots of drugs and had to travel regularly for intralipid treatment. My pregnancy was very complex and I struggled towards the end as I started to haemorrhage at 31 weeks, I made it to 35 weeks and my consultant decided it was safer for the baby to be delivered right away.
Our rainbow baby boy Ted was born on November 1 2018, he is our absolute rainbow baby and we’re so lucky to have him
I love him so deeply and he will never know how wanted he was but one day, I will tell him this story. He is my rainbow, my pot of gold, I’m glad I put up my fight and that I listened to my instinct on so many occasions. I said I’d not go through it all again, but I absolutely would, becoming a mummy is the best thing in the world.
In the UK it is really quite normal to not discuss pregnancy before one weeks gestation, that then leads to people not talking about miscarriage because it was ‘too early to share’, I believe this leads to lots of women living an incredibly lonely journey, so I decided to share my story.
I started writing my crazy fertility queen blog to reach out and connect with other women. I’ve now started fundraising to help my campaign to raise awareness to early pregnancy loss & recurrent miscarriage.
I designed bracelets that are now handed out at my local hospital to women that are going through a loss
I want the bracelets to provide some comfort as I know how awful it is to leave the hospital feeling empty. This year, in baby loss awareness week, I am hosting a charity evening to raise further funds and continue my campaign.
Follow Samantha on Instagram @crazyfertilityqueen or check out her blog here