Naidynne Alvarez, 30 and her 36-year-old husband, Noel got married in 2013 and decided to wait a couple of years before they tried for a baby. But little did they know it might be more difficult than they first thought. Here is their story…
After a year of trying, we decided to do a fertility test, and both came back healthy and normal, which made the lack of success even more frustrating. We then did our research about IVF and luckily, a friend of ours who underwent the same treatment recommended their awesome doctor.
She explained that we are part of the 20 per cent couples who have unexplained infertility. That moment, I couldn’t focus anymore. I just couldn’t comprehend why. Why do we have to use the help of science to get us pregnant? Why can’t I do it naturally? Not being able to do something I am biologically programmed to do made me feel like a failure.
The first night I did my hormone shots, I cried because I couldn’t do it. I felt defeated.
I thought I was ready to do this and the moment I saw the needle and thinking of injecting it to myself, I backed out and so the husband ended up doing it. I did nine straight days of hormones shots in my belly plus every other day visit to the doctor for bloodwork and ultrasound to check my oestrogen level and number of follicles. Then every other day turned into every morning until the day of retrieval. It felt like the hormones took over my body and I was just living in it.
April 17 was the day of my egg retrieval. Eight mature eggs were collected, and we got a call to say six has fertilised successfully. A week later only one continued growing and was viable for freezing.
I broke down, I just couldn’t believe that out of six, only one embryo survived.
I should have been happy because at least we had one, but I had to mourn the five we lost. The doctor had to cancel my transfer cycle to discuss our options.
After some thought and discussion, we decided to continue with the transfer of our one survivor. I had to do more shots, this time to help thicken my uterine lining and help the embryo to stick. June 19 was the day they transferred and surprisingly, I was calmed and collected, and the procedure took about ten minutes. I was fully awake and watched the screen while they transferred the embryo inside me. The magic of science.
Then the dreaded two-week wait. Will the baby stick or not? Will I finally see a positive line on a pregnancy test? Will this be my chance to be a mum? At that point, I surrendered everything to God. Whatever happens, it is meant to be. If all else fail, we’ll mourn and start the fight again.
They say struggling with infertility is like dealing with the five stages of grief every single month. You deny, bargain, get angry, cry and accept. Then you pick yourself back up and do it all over again.
At this time, I am 29 weeks pregnant and delivering my little warrior, my miracle baby in March
Infertility is not something to be ashamed of. It is something to talk about to make others aware that they are not alone and it took me sometime to realise this. I have joined a support group and found new friends and it’s comforting to know that they feel what I’ve experienced.
For someone out there who is dealing with infertility, please do not lose hope. Miracles do happen. Do not blame yourself because this is not your fault. And to all those people who ask couples on when they are planning to have a baby, please stop and think. You don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors. They might be struggling, taking their time or they are not planning to have one at all. Either way, it’s not your business
This journey taught me to have a load full of patience, a bucket full of understanding and most of all being grateful by enjoying little things one day at a time.
Can you relate to Naidynne and Noel’s story? Let us know your story, email firstname.lastname@example.org