It’s always hard when you hear someone else’s pregnancy announcement, but hearing the story behind the pregnancy following a struggle to conceive can offer a much needed boost of hope and inspiration. Here, Michelle Smith tells us how she finally got there!!
I always knew I was going to be a mom- that was never up for discussion.
Matter of fact, I wouldn’t even date a man who didn’t want to be a daddy someday because HELLO that was an instant deal breaker for me. Mom was my identity long before I became one. You know those people who just seem to magnetize the kids to them at the grocery store? Yep, that’s me in a nutshell. The people who have like 5 “god children” before having their own kids? Also me.
I knew I just had to figure out which path was going to get me to “mommyhood”.
Of course, my preference was the old fashion way. You know, you simply had sex with your husband and a baby magically appeared 9 months later? Yeah, that’s the way I wanted this to go. I learned after almost 3 years of trying that method, that we were going to need to try something else. That’s also about the time I exhausted many of the non-invasive natural options. Except one.
I heard about Natural IVF and thought it was worth trying out. If this didn’t work, we would be starting the adoption process. So, here’s goes nothing! Fast forward months ahead and there I was listening to a Natural IVF seminar with my husband and about 20 other couples eager to finally become parents. The place we went to is called LIFE IVF Center which was inconveniently located about 2 hours (each way) from us. That wasn’t going to stop us, nothing was going to get in the way of this last attempt at becoming (biological) parents.
The center was generous enough to give the gift of FREE Natural IVF to 3 lucky couples and we happen to be one of the lucky couples to win!
What was even luckier was that I conceived with the very first transfer! As I write this, I am 36 weeks pregnant.
I wish I could tell you that it has actually sunk in. The truth, however… It is still so surreal! I know I probably sound like a crazy person when I say that because here I am, big belly, attending prenatal appointments with my midwife, wearing maternity clothes and I am still in disbelief! My son moves around so much in my belly that he shifts my shirt around and yet it still feels like a dream. Fun footage of that belly movement in this video that is on my youtube channel
The nursery is done, our labor bags are packed, the nesting thing they tell you about is real and in full effect.
When I reflect on the last 8 months, this pregnancy has been amazing! I have hiked weekly and stayed healthy and active. I think the biggest role infertility has played in my pregnancy is I find joy and appreciation in everything. From the beginning of this pregnancy every single freaking thing that happened made me feel so giddy I could scream out loud! For example- the moment I puked in a restaurant. I was so happy to have morning sickness because that meant I was actually pregnant! Or the time when I had to turn down an awesome wine tasting trip- I didn’t feel like I was missing out for a second. I felt like I was LUCKY enough to be pregnant, and that I was ABLE to turn down a trip like that. When I wake up every 2 – 3 hours at night to pee and spend the day super tired, I feel so happy that there is a baby sitting on my bladder at the root of this. I know that the sleep deprivation has only begun, and I will gladly welcome the bags under my eyes once my little miracle arrives and keeps me up at night. I feel its more of a “I GET to” than a “I HAVE to” process. I GET to experience all of this because I GET to be a mommy.
Of course, I have some anxiety about the upcoming labor day but I find peace in knowing that labor means I will soon be holding the baby that took 4 years to make.
I’ve thought about what I might say to him when we first “meet” face to face. I used to think my first words to him would be, “What took you so long?” Or “Wow, you are finally here” but now that I know that he was supposed to be my baby, at this time and after this journey- all I feel is love and appreciation that I too get to be part of the Mommyhood tribe.
I’m so glad that I never let the struggles of infertility keep me from entering in to parenthood after all.
I’m still not sure what my first words to him will be, but I know what I will feel. I will feel the same thing I have felt all along this pregnancy (multiplied by a million I’m sure): Grateful, appreciative and honored that I GET TO be here in this moment, with this little miracle baby and I GET TO be his mommy.
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