In a recent article, Kasandra Brabaw reported on Kaci Sullivan, a transgender man who is ‘the first to give birth before and after transitioning’.
Sullivan ‘has now been pregnant and given birth twice, once when he was presenting as a woman and once when he was presenting as a man.’
Five years ago, Sullivan gave birth to his first child, Grayson. Experiencing gender dysphoria at the time of being pregnant was a ‘miserable experience’.
Having hoped that he’d feel more feminine once he had become a mother, he was left feeling very low when that didn’t happen.
He told the Daily Mail “I felt so hopeless and lost. I wanted to die. I fell into such a dark place and I was terrified to bring a baby into that darkness with me.”
The 30 year old Wisconsin man continued: “But the moment they put him in my arms it was bliss. Immediately I loved him like I had never loved anything or anyone and I felt such a surge of duty to him.”
He went on: “I couldn’t be this depressed and be a good parent to him. If I didn’t come out and transition, I knew I would eventually succumb to dysphoria, depression and suicide.”
So, he took the necessary steps, telling his then husband – and Grayson’s father – that he was transgender, when their son was just three months old.
Following his divorce and after his transition, Sullivan met Steven, 27, his current partner.
He then became pregnant for the second time earlier this year. This time presenting as a man, he gave birth to Phoenix on November 11 by caesarean section. And he says that the experience was much more in keeping with the beautiful experience you would expect to have. He puts this down to feeling more at peace with his body.
Sullivan believes that pregnancy doesn’t have to be feminine and doesn’t entertain those who are critical.
He sees it that it’s about his family. He and Steven don’t feel it’s necessary to identify their baby’s gender, they will be happy for Phoenix to make that choice when old enough.
In order to provide much-needed help for other trans men who may be considering becoming pregnant, Sullivan has documented details of his pregnancy on YouTube.
There is no doubt that acceptance, understanding and respect need to be adopted in relation to the families making their own choices based on what is right for them.
The single most important thing any family can have is love.
The whys and wherefores are irrelevant and nobody’s business but the family concerned. Attitudes need to change towards those making new choices, their own personal choices; furthermore, change should be embraced.
Experience tells us that this will happen but that it will likely take time.
Are you transgender? Have you had a child? If you would like to share your story, we would love to hear from you at firstname.lastname@example.org